If ....

By Peter Rowlett



If you can choose your partner for his morals
And those with looser scruples you eschew,
If you concede the better pair the laurels,
To Laws and Ethics hold steadfastly true -

If you can take finesses without peeping
To find if East or West might hold the Queen,
Or, going down, you still refrain from weeping
And pondering match points there might have been -

If you can bid, yet never stoop to psyche-bids,
Confusing all and sundry with your calls;
If you forego the Multi and suchlike bids,
Or, lacking points, you do not bid at all -

If you can get a good board without crowing
Or telling your opponents that they're dumb,
It may be that to heaven you are going,
But you'll never win a pairs event, old chum!