Lucky Thirteen

Written by: Anonymous

It was the club's Xmas party and needless to say,

The punch and the season had made us quite gay.

Now we're just raw novices, my partner and me.

We've only been playing six months, you see.

 

"Find your seats and shuffle," the director had said,

As visions of last place danced in my head.

When I checked our position, I went dry in the mouth.

We'd been assigned Table One - North and South.

 

Fate had decided to put us to the test -

With two grand masters sitting East and West.

We took our positions and said not a word,

But I'm certain our heartbeats could surely be heard.

 

I shuffled the cards and handed them out.

As North I was dealer, so it was my first shout.

I've been to some lessons, so although I was green,

I knew that to open - you must have thirteen.

 

I sorted my hand and counted, but alas -

With only ten points I had to pass.

And frankly - I thought this a shame -

As I'd never before had 13 Spades in a game.

 

My left-hand opponent, a big name in the city,

Opened two Clubs and I thought what a pity.

My partner, South, who was trembling with fear

Bid two Hearts in a voice hard to hear.

 

My right-hand opponent sat straight in his chair.

3 Diamonds was the bid he chose to declare.

Now I had a fair suit, but alas,

With no help in her Hearts - I had to pass.

 

My left-hand opponent now bid three Spades.

You can imagine how much I was amazed.

South, bid four Hearts and now I feared

That I can't play her suit if I end up on lead.

 

My right-hand opponent studied his hand,

And soon six No Trumps was his command.

It was my turn to bid - and just to save face,

I doubled - I knew they were missing an ace.

North
AKQJ1098765432
West
Axxx
AKQJ10xxxx
East
Axxxxxx
KQJ10xx
South
KQJ10xx
xxx
xx
North
East
South
West
Pass
2
2
3
Pass
3
4
6 NT
Double
Pass
Pass
Pass

The next three bids were pass, pass, pass,

And I was ready to lead a Spade, but alas -

My partner got it wrong and led the Heart King -

A lead out of turn - what a damnable thing.

 

The director was called and I can still hear his voice,

As he told the declarer he could make his own choice.

A Heart lead you see, as I'm sure you understand

Could well help to set up my partner's hand.

 

So declarer turned to me and looking ever so smart,

Said, "Lead any suit - but not a Heart."

So, of course, I led my fourth Spade.

I guess this was a reasonable lead I made.

 

Because from thereon in I didn't lose the lead,

And our venerable opponents had to concede

Thirty-five hundred - which seemed like a lot.

Later we found - this score was a top!

 

Now I ask you, after a board like this -

The rest of the event - well, how could we miss?

Later I heard the director say: "Who was the lass -

Who had thirteen Spades - and cleverly passed?"