Slim Slam, Thank You Ma'am

Written by: Anonymous

* (Hand courtesy of Moonraker by Ian Fleming)

Last night at the club was a big event.

The New Year teams - to which everyone went.

 

The first hand was dealt - and as is usually so,

My point-count total was lamentably low.

 

Someone, however, had points in sight.

And so 2 Clubs was opened on my right.

 

My turn to bid.  No point in moping.

So I bid 3 Clubs - for a lead - I was hoping.

 

Up went the bidding, bit by bit -

Wasn't long before they found a fit.

 

Six Hearts was the bid - missing an Ace.

My partner's turn came, sitting in last place.

 

She reached for the bidding box, but alas -

Pulled out 7 Clubs - instead of the pass.

 

Without undue haste, the next opponent passed;

Upon realising her mistake, my partner gasped.

 

The Director was called - but no joy, I suspected.

I was quite right - the bid stood as expected.

 

Oh no! I thought - here comes trouble,

And sure enough, next opponent went "double".

 

A Heart was led and dummy went down.

A ruff won the trick and West started to frown.

 

The Club Ace dropped the King and the Queen -

A luckier break you couldn't have seen.

 

A cross-ruff followed, making ten tricks in all,

Whilst most of West's points went to the wall.

 

And there I was at trick number eleven -

With three long Spades I was in seventh heaven.

 

All thirteen tricks were coming our way,

While West's thirty-three points crumbled away.

North
xxxxxxx
AJxxxx
West
AKQJ
AKQJ
AKQJ
K
East
xx
xxxxx
xxxxx
Q
South
xxxx
xxxx
xxxxx
North
East
South
West
2
3
2
Pass
4 NT
Pass
5
Pass
6
Pass
Pass
7
Pass
Pass
Double
Pass
Pass
Pass

Two thousand plus points was the amount we scored.

Whilst our team-mates made 6 Hearts on the very same board.

 

After this hand, you'll probably surmise

That we won the event and claimed the first prize.

 

Alas and alack, this was not the case,

As you'll see in the next poem that appears in this space.