Time and Time Again

Written by: Unknown

Source of Deal: Barbados Bridge League

Time and Time again,

However it begins,

Along comes an amateur

Who always, to be sure,

Shoots just before your bow

A cannon ball, you don't know how,

Sending you to Davy Jones' Locker,

Throwing you completely off your rocker.

The story is as follows, which is quite difficult to swallow,

But truth is stranger than some fiction, causing many too much friction.

By profession a doctor, by passion a bridge player, Mr. South is called away from a bridge tournament to tend to an emergency at the neighborhood hospital. However, as fate would have it, there is still the last board to play. The remaining three players politely ask a kibitzer, Mr. Counter, to take a seat in order to finish the match.

Mr. Counter confesses and concedes that he has no knowledge of the game. He states that he has only arrived to pick up his wife after the game has finished. But the other three players inform him and insist that he should take a seat and "Just bid what you have got and follow suit."

The auction begins with Mr. Counter as South and also Dealer:

North
A9
AKQ65
AK
Q1054
West
KQ108
J1097
Q10
KJ8
East
76542
8
J9
97632
South
J3
432
8765432
A
North
East
Mr. Counter
West
1
Pass
2
Pass
2
Pass
3
Pass
3
Pass
4 NT
Pass
7
Double
Pass
Pass
Pass

The lead of the King was won by Mr. Counter with the Ace, whereupon he cashed the Ace and King of trumps, realizing that both defenders had to be void since there were only thirteen cards in each suit. This much he did know.

Thereafter Mr. Counter returned to his hand with the Ace and played the remaining Diamonds, the trump suit. West, who saw his ship sinking, was hopelessly squeezed in Hearts and, by the beard of Davy Jones, also Spades. After much consideration he ultimately discarded a Heart.

It was upon this play, nay, owing to this play that Mr. Counter pounced upon the Hearts, playing one by one for the last four tricks, making and taking thirteen tricks.

When the opposition requested, demanded, and viewed the holding of Mr. Counter after the successful auction and successful play, it was in total unison that their voices rose above the din and shouted DIRECTOR!!

After explaining to the director how the Doctor was called away, how they had requested Mr. Counter to step up, to have a seat, and assist them to the finish line by playing the last hand of the match, and the most unusual auction, the Director was truly at a loss for words, but he managed:

"However did you, as a complete amateur, manage to bid the maximum contract of what the cards would produce?"

It was the answer to this question, which silenced the other three players at the table and also the Director, for it was the truth, against which there was no defense and which broke no Law. For Mr. Counter stated:

"I was told to bid what I have got!"

"I got 1 Club ..... "

"I got 2 Spades ..... "

"I got 3 Hearts ..... "

"I got 7 Diamonds ..... "

Say Good Night, Gracie .....

Good Night, Gracie